Memo to Mischa Barton: Sweetie, you probably missed news of America’s war on nasty terrorists who hijack airplanes (InStyle mag blows off that icky jihad stuff, right?), but here’s a red-alert homeland security warning: The Celebrity Bill of Rights is officially canceled . . . so don’t ever abandon your vehicle curbside at LAX Baggage Claim again, or next time you’ll suffer worse than simply getting the damn car towed — I’ll personally ask Dubya to ship your cute “O.C.” butt to GUANTANAMO!

When teen queen Mischa showed up late for a script reading, she admitted to an airhead move that’d shock Tara Reid! Mischa told everyone she was rushing to pick up an arriving galpal, left the car in the high-risk security area outside “Arrivals” and blithely bopped inside . . . ignoring no-parking warnings. Cops immediately pounced on her vehicle — and when Mischa strolled out less than 10 minutes later, she FREAKED! “Where the hell is my car?” she screamed at the fuzz — who handed her a card inscribed with the address of a faraway lot where it had been towed! “No . . . no!” ranted Mischa. “You can’t tow my car . . . I was only in there a few minutes to help my friend with her bags!” Cops yawned in her kisser — and one pointed silently at a nearby sign that said: “TAXI!”