CLEAN UP IN AISLE 3: BRAD PITT

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Suburban locals go ga-ga as Brad puts on brave face to public.

Sequestered by Oyster Bay in suburban Long Island, the seeming casual locals have gone cuckoo for A-Listers ever since Brad & Angie came to town! 

Townies are trading mom jeans and flab hiding sweats to gussy themselves up in case there’s a Charmin moment with the Fight Club hunk at Shop Rite. 

Pitt and the Brangie 6 have set up base close to town while mum Angie’s running all over NYC blowing crap up for new adreno-pumper Salt.

"Who would think they would see them grocery shopping, and not sending out the help?"  a starry-eyed townie gushed.

Brangie & Kids are often spotted at Stop & Shop and Dunkin’ Donuts – and the pizza parlor as they put on a brave face to the public in spite of their private turmoil behind closed doors.