BRITNEY SEX TAPE NIGHTMARE
It's like a nightmare I can't wake up from!" That's what anguished Britney Spears cried to pals after an Internet e-mailer claimed he was selling a sex tape of the pop princess.
"Need help selling celeb porn tape," said the ad, posted on the popular Internet sales Web site craigslist.org.
"I'm kinda unsure how to do this, being a 'county (sic) boy' but I have a tape shot of me and Britney Spears and I was wondering if anyone in . . . LA would know who I could sell it to (sic).
"I need the money and she dosn't (sic) even talk to me anymore. This is in or around Kentwood, LA."
The ad was quickly deleted -- but not before it was spotted by the editors of the showbiz gossip site defamer.com. They ran it on their Web site, calling it "Perhaps our favorite Craigslist post of all time."
And they joked: "Whatever brief amusement we derive from some local prankster with suspect spelling abilities is certainly tempered by our crazy hope that somewhere, out in this great world of ours, there exists a video of Britney Spears riding some yokel like a tractor."
The tape comes on the heels of a string of disasters for the 22-year-old star, beginning with her embarrassing 55-hour marriage to childhood pal Jason Alexander.
Then she was branded a home-wrecker for stealing dancer Kevin Federline from his pregnant girlfriend.
And, most recently, her "Onyx Hotel" tour, which was plagued by flagging ticket sales and bad reviews, was canceled after Britney blew out a knee filming her "Outrageous" video.
"Britney was appalled by the news that someone was hawking a phony video of her having sex with a possible former lover," said a pal. "She knew the video was a sham, but it bothered her greatly.
"There's been an endless string of unfortunate incidents in Britney's life lately -- almost as if her career is being sabotaged.
"She told a friend: 'If I could take back the last six months, I would. It's like a nightmare that I can't wake up from.'
"The one bright spot in Britney's difficult life right now is her boyfriend Kevin. He's moved in with her full-time and talk is flying fast and furious that they're going to wed any day.
"Britney's told everyone that all she wants to do right now is recoup from knee surgery and spend quality time with Kevin. And she's so impulsive, she could easily be a bride on crutches!" -- JOHN SOUTH