Let’s NOT be “Friends,” meowed mega-divas Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones — who secretly raked sharp kitty-claws all over Brad Pitt when he tried to make “Ocean’s Twelve” a “baker’s dozen” by finagling a cameo for wife Jennifer Aniston! Jen surprised hubby by flying to Paris, where he’s lensing the “Ocean’s Eleven” sequel, and The Hunkmeister was suddenly inspired to make a longtime fantasy come true — snare a role for wifey so they could appear in a movie together for the first time! Director Steven Soderbergh and producers loved the idea, cautioned Brad to keep it hush-hush, then consulted Roberts and Zeta-Jones — who immediately shrilled: NO WAY! The two have feuded nonstop during filming, can barely tolerate each other — and hissed at the idea of a female rival using their flick as a stepping-stone from TV to the Bigtime! Even though Brad’s a major star, Zeta- Jones’ career is sizzling and Julia is still The Queen — so Soderbergh and company fed Brad some smooth Hollywood schmooze about how there just wasn’t anything “right” for Jennifer — and how her stardom might actually be a “distraction.” (Uh-huh! Welcome to Spin City, suckah!)