By ROBIN MIZRAHI and MICHAEL GLYNN
Clean up on aisle 7!
A simple trip to the grocery turns
into a bloody rampage as former
"Roseanne" star Laurie Metcalf
joins the cast of "Desperate Housewives"
and goes berserk on the women of Wisteria
Lane.
That's just one of the bombshell
developments that the "Desperate
Housewives" writers and producers
have in store for the wacky Sunday
night soap during November sweeps.
After last season's string of hit-or-miss
episodes the cast and writers at "DH"
are finally "on their game again," a show
insider tells The ENQUIRER.
"The carnage at the supermarket
represents what viewers
love best about
the show — shock and
humor at the same
time," said the insider.
A violent chain of
events is set off when
Lynette (Felicity Huffman),
Nora (Kiersten
Warren) and Edie
(Nicollette Sheridan) go
to the grocery store and
run into new neighbor Carolyn
Bigsby, played by Metcalf.
Lynette puts her foot in her
mouth by introducing Nora to Carolyn as "The woman my
husband had an affair with
before we were married."
The misguided joke sets off
Carolyn — because she's actually
on the premises to kill her
cheating husband, who owns the store. She
pulls a gun and takes the three women hostage!
Then, just as the SWAT team arrives, Carolyn
panics and begins firing the gun wildly.
After wounding Lynette in the arm and
killing Nora, she points the gun at Edie. But
before she can fire, Carolyn is taken out in
a hail of bullets by the SWAT team. When
the smoke clears, a grief-stricken Lynette
convinces Tom (Doug Savant),
to add another child to their brood — by adopting
the daughter he'd had with Nora during their
affair.
"The new story lines should have viewers
desperate for more," said the insider.
And they'll get it! In the Solis
household, Eva Longoria and Ricardo
Chavira, in the roles of husband and
wife Gabrielle and Carlos, will play
out a "War of the Roses" scenario —
living in the same house while despising
each other.
"Gabrielle will try to become financially
independent by resuming her
modeling career, but at 30 years old,
she finds herself competing against
a 14-year-old anorexic," said the
show insider. "And to her horror, she's
hired as the girl's dumpy mother!"
Producers are also planning on
hiding Marcia Cross' pregnancy
— she's due to have twins in April — by
dressing her character (Bree) in loose
fitting clothes and getting her to stand
behind a number of different props.
Additionally, Dixie Carter will join the
cast as Bree's monster mother-in-law.
"'Housewives' is back in the groove and
locked into the magic of its first season," said
the insider.